Outdoor cats

I am against having an outdoor cat, even though I have 4 (5 with Bella) that I take care of.  They all have names and a place to call home.

I don't like having them outdoors though for all the dangers that are out there.  Dogs, hawks, owls--PEOPLE!  If I had it my way, the cats would be indoors.  Finding them a home is no easy task because people that want animals have them.  I really dislike the line:  Well, you already have an outdoor cat....and what does THAT mean exactly?  That I need more? 

Right now, I am wondering why Bella is missing?  Did someone think she was lost and took her in?  Did they find her annoying and kill her?  Did an owl get her?  What about a coyote?  Someone may have run her over.  It's endless to me.

I should be outside looking for her now.  I should be.  Where do I go?  While the town is small, it's very big at the same time.  Big when you are looking for a 10 pound cat that could be stuck in a shed or in a house.

When and if I ever get to the point of not looking for her, I will think of myself as a bad pet owner.  I will feel that I didn't do enough or try hard enough.  So I have to keep looking until I know one way or the other.

I keep hoping she will just come home.
I hope that I will see her waiting for me on the porch.

I have to keep that hope alive otherwise I have given up and I don't want to get to that place.

St. Francis--please help Bella find her way home.
Amen.